Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
