she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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