One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
