she looked like the bat from fern gully.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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