and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
