Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize