Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
