I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
