is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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