She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
