Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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