Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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