Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
