Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
