Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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