And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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