i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize
