Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
