I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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