Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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