i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
