She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
operation harelip BJ is a go
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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