so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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