he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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