the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Never underestimate the power of titties
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
