is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
