I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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