I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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