I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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