There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
