I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
