i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
