I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Send help, water and tortillas.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
