Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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