OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
