you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
