Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
