so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
