ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
