if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
