ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
