I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
