I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
