I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize