i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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