Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
