that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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