Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Randomize
