in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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