you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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