But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize