I'm laying in your front yard are you home
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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