After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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