that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
