I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
