Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
