actually, I'm a sock model
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
